Liberty is being free from the things we don't like in order to be slaves of the things we do like.--Ernest Benn

Monday, December 26, 2011

Your Dog Can Get You into Trouble

Today I had to check on my Laser-38. Since I hadn't given Doberwoman her morning beach walk (too many hours squandered on the English Premier League), she had to come along as escort, bodyguard and conversation piece. We discovered conditions of super-low tide. The gang plank down to the floating docks was extremely steep. So I let Doberwoman run ahead much of the length of her Retractable Belt Leash as we approached the locked gate to the marina.

There was a well-dressed, 20-ish blonde woman with immaculately coiffed 'big hair'. She was waiting by the gate for the next passer-by with a key to let her through. She was pushing an elaborate baby carriage. The only passenger in this carriage was a highly-coiffed runty little dog, maybe half as big as my 3/1/2 month old, 18 lb granddaughter. This little bratty dog was snarling, growling and barking at my perfectly behaved Ms Ballou. As I was opening and holding the gate for Lady McHair to pass through with her entourage, I heard her speak:
"You know there is a law that restricts your leash to 3 1/2 feet." My first and only reaction was this stranger was accusing Ms Ballou of being a loose Doberwoman. In a word my Doberwoman was being called a slut and a whore.

Big Hair was walking behind on the dock so I slowed down so she could hear me as my mouth moved faster than my brain:

What are you? The self-anointed dog police? Der canine Korps? Are you German? Are you a Republican? If I knew you were going to act like such a narc, I wouldn't have let you in the gate without a key. There's probably a law against that. And your little joke of a pampered pooch is ten times more vicious and out of control than my purebred gentle lady.
And with that I completely unchained my Doberwoman and let her lope ahead of me, all the way to the boat. 

If Trophy Wife had been along, she would have been mortified. On second thought, had T.W. been there, Lady McHair would have gone for a swim.

20 comments:

  1. It's not your mutt but your mouth that gets you into trouble.

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  2. Points off for political stereotyping.

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  3. A German-American RepublicanDecember 26, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    Mein Furious: Please do not make generalizations.

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  4. Yeah, well clearly my mouth got ahead of my brain. "German" was a reach. Apologies to German-American Reader. But I recognize the voice of entitlement when I hear it. An immediate squelch sure cleared the air of negativity. Later this week, however, I will go in for an attitude check.

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  5. I can't stand...
    Women with big hair
    Pampered pooches
    Dogs off leashes
    National stereotyping
    Intolerance

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  6. So, what I hear Tillerman saying is that he can't stand, i.e. he's intolerant of, (1) Women with big hair (2) Pampered pooches (3) dogs off leashes (4) National stereotyping and (5) intolerance. Do I have that right?

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  7. Quite right Vlad. Do you have a problem with that? Are you saying that you like intolerance?

    And another thing, have you noticed that the 8th comment on every blog post is always total nonsense?

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  8. I would like to disclose that I have a tolerance for intolerance.

    There's also a vast difference between intolerance of people, which no one here is advocating, and intolerance of bad ideas, which is expected of every scientist. We simply need to move a reality-based skeptical attitude out of the lab and into the wider sphere of public engagement.

    For example, I am intolerant -- especially so -- of any religious orthodoxy which attempts to control the secular lives of those who are not its converts or who wish to leave a particular faith.

    So there are intolerances that I not only tolerate but champion.

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  9. There is currently a debate raging on the Laser Forum about whether the tight tolerances of the specification for the manufacture of the Laser contribute to higher costs. I am intolerant of such arguments. Some clever dude once argued that Quality is Free, meaning (to vastly oversimplify) that if you make things right the first time you avoid the costs of rejects and rework.

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  10. Ausgezeichnet! Never apologize for appropriate behavior.

    ~ A German American; aka Pandabonium

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  11. I am sorry if you found my appropriate behavior to be inappropriate.

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  12. Sniveling little control freaks abound these days, they are worse than the proverbial bean counters which are suppose to be sending us all to Hell.

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  13. Ah, Beach! You are the one I've been waiting for!

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  14. Tillerman, please, please! More than apology in a single post would be inappropriate, if not intolerable!

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  15. I have never tried to count the proverbial beans. How many are there?

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  16. I think that's one of those proverbial closely guarded secrets.

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  17. People are always spilling the proverbial beans. And some people have proverbial beans in their ears. But it's hard to count them all.

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  18. All that stuff for a "blonde" ? My God !

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